| she's perfect, so flawless. i'm not impressed, i want you back. |
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| 02:41pm 21/08/2003 |
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mood:  thoughtful music: John Mayer - Comfortable
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so yesterday before i went to mel's i need to think, so i drove out to our spot. the drive up there is so beautiful. and when i came over the last hill and could see the sun setting on the canyon, it brought tears to my eyes. it's amazing that there is something beautiful still in this world. i needed to get away from everyone and to think. i sat in my car and listened to music, driving fast, driving nowhere. i recommend it to anyone that needs to think, just leave. thank god monterey has those places you can just go and think, but i don't think i will need them much when i go up there. all of my stress and discomfort lies in bakersfield. i am not sure what it is, maybe it's the air or the water, but for some unknown reason, people are always unhappy in bakersfield. there are spurts of happiness, but for the most part, bakersfield is not the best place for teenagers. there is no place to release our angst. they say money can't buy happiness, but i know for a fact that if i had money i would be happy. i could afford to do the things i love. i have been exposed to too many things that cost money that i enjoy. i love travelling, i love good food, i love water sports, i love photography. all of which cost a lot of money. if i could, i would buy a boat, a couple of wakeboards, an inner tube or two, and maybe even a kneeboard. then i would take all my friends out almost everyday and we could live on the lake for a week at a time. and then i would buy myself a really nice camera so that i could snap photos of everything i see. and i would build myself a dark room so that i could develop the photos myself. that would be the perfect life for me.
when i get older, i will have this boat: mastercraft x-10 in lime green or midnight black http://www.boatdock.com/Boats/Skiboats/MasterCraft/Xseries/MasterCraft-X-10.htm
sexy huh?
yeah, i know... it's never going to happen :/
this song is not how i feel, but i think it is beautiful.
alyshin
I just remembered, that time at the market
Snuck up behind me and jumped on my shopping cart
And rode down, aisle 5
You looked behind you to smile back at me
Crashed into a rack full of magazines
They asked us, if we could leave.
Can't remember, what went wrong last September
Though i'm sure that you'd remind me, if you had to
Our love was, comfortable and so broken in
I sleep with this new girl i'm still getting used to
My friends all approve, say shes gonna be good for you
They throw me, high fives
She says the bible is all that she reads
And prefers that I not use profanities
Your mouth was, so dirty
Life of the party
And she swears that she's artsy
But you could distinguish
Miles from Coltrane
Our love was, comfortable and so broken in
She's perfect, so flawless
Or so they say, say
She thinks I can't see the smile that shes faking
And poses for pictures that aren't being taken
I loved you
Grey sweat pants, no makeup, so perfect
Our love was, comfortable and
So broken in
She's perfect, so flawless
I'm not impressed, I want you back. |
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| and if they tell you love fades with time tell them there's no such thing as time |
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| 10:22am 21/08/2003 |
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music: Jack Johnson - Cupid Only Misses Sometimes
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so you want an update eh? well here it is.
i have 48 hours left in bakersfield and i really don't want that time to come. oh yeah.... me moving into college has turned into a family vacation. my brother is going to meet an online friend. how creepy is that? and the worst part, my parents are ok with that. umm... no?
note: the best way to ignore people is to turn on your music and put on your headphones. god i love these things
back to family vacation...yeah... this might turn into a murder/murder/murder/suicide. i do not want to be in the car for 4 hours with my parents and my brother. i do not want to spend saturday with my family and i don't want to spend sunday with my parents. colin and nick volunteered to drive me up while my parents drive my stuff, but i don't think my parents will be cool with that :( oh well.... 72 hours and i won't see them for a long time.
one of the worst things about me is that i am, as melissa's mom put it, a late reactioner. i don't miss people until they are actually gone. good things don't affect me for awhile. it hasn't really hit me that i will be gone in 48 hours. i wish it would so that i can understand what he is going through. he gets sad and it makes me sad that there is not a whole lot, short of miraculously being accepted to stanford, i can do. he need not worry, things will be ok, i promise.
things just aren't the same with natalie and keith gone. nick isn't as happy and bouncy, i'm not much of myself, and colin is a little different without his other half. but keith and natalie are having fun (i hope) so i need not worry too much.
i've been listening to jack johnson and john mayer all morning. i wouldn't like this stuff normally, but it has started to grow on me. it's so relaxing and soothing.
i haven't quite decided if i will continue to write in this during college. there are people who read this (like my parents) that i don't want reading it. sometimes i'm afraid to write stuff because i don't want my parents yelling at me, i mean "talking". but whatever...
alyson
well how many times must we go through this
you've always been mine
woman I thought you knew this
how many times must we go through this
you'll always be mine
cupid only misses sometimes
well we could end up broken-hearted
we don't remember why all this started
and if they tell you love fades with time
tell them there's no such thing as time
it's our time
it's our time
it's our time
it's our time |
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| 03:27pm 19/08/2003 |
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music: Simple Plan - Addicted
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update coming soon, i promise.
no reason for the song, just like it |
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Read 4 - Post |
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| don't let the days go by |
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| 12:18am 18/08/2003 |
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mood: sad and pissed off music: Bush - Glycerine
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with less than 6 days left in bakersfield, it has finally hit me: i am leaving. i didn't cry when keith left because i knew i would be seeing him a lot. i tried not to cry when natalie left cause i know i will see her soon enough. but today i couldn't hold back the tears any more. he kissed me and i knew that i would not be able to have those kisses whenever i need or want them. i don't want to go anymore. i'm not going to do anything worth doing. i don't need to learn anything more to be what i want to be. then why go? because i need to finally learn to be responsible for myself. i need to make my own decisions and have to deal with the consequences as they come. i need to learn form myself, i can't have others tell me what to do. i have to learn the pot is hot for myself. i need to be able to decide for myself what time i want to go to bed, or when to wake up, or what to do. i have never been able to live how i want to live. i have not been given the opportunity. i can not wait til the day comes when my mom doesn't call me ask me when i'm going to be home and then tells me to be home in 30 minutes, not matter what i'm doing. why even bother asking? i'm either going to socialize with people or sit infront of my computer. it's your choice.
alyson |
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| 03:32pm 16/08/2003 |
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mood:  tired music: Maroon 5 - She Will Be Loved
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the bumps aren't gone yet, but they are looking better. and the best thing is that they are contagious or something. wew (feel the sarcasim)
yesterday we went to the lake with natalie and OMGASH!!! i love going out there. something about the water and the wind blowing in your face makes everything seem so much better. the best part was spending all that good time with my homies; they have totally made this summer the best ever. i have 7 days left and no matter what will happen, these will always be known as "good times". i want to thank natalie for being the second craziest person i know. you always made me feel better when i would be worried. nick: i'm not even sure how to thank you or for what. you are just generally a great guy and a good boy. keith: thanks for being there when i need someone to talk to about my paranoia. and colin... i can never thank you enough for being you and allowing me to be me. and to all of you as a group: thank you for making everyone comfortable enough to act crazy and wild and not care.
natalie left this morning at about 5:30. she is the first to really leave. keith left yesterday, but he will be back often and he's only 2 hours from me, so he's not really gone. round one of friends leaving has completed, and i'm next in line. i don't want to go anymore. i don't even have a reason to go. i'm never going to be successful. i'm only going because i have been told that i'm going. i'm happy with how things are, i don't want them to change. but i guess that's life for you, as soon as you get into a little niche, something happens that throws you off. college is that thing for me.
i finally took all those empty photo albums and put pictures in them. it was really nice to be able to look back at various times. it's weird, but i can almost remember everything from those times. there is a story behind every picture and i can retell it with enough precision to make anyone feel as if they were there.
the other really good thing about yesterday was that i totally owned that kneeboard. if we would have had more time, i would have tried some cool stuff, but time was running thin. and i guess the board was mad at me for owning it so hard because when i went to flip it over, it hit me in the face and now i have a beautiful green bruise on my righ cheek. wew. wounds heal, chicks dig scars. wait.... i think that only works if i'm a guy (which wouldn't be that hard to believe). hey smart people, what movie is that line from? i know it was a sports movie, like mighty ducks, but i can't remember. oh well
i can't wait til i can move my body again. bumps + sun burn + body aches = poopie ness.
alyson |
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| i worry, i wonder all the time why worry? it's killing me, forget about it |
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| 12:51am 15/08/2003 |
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music: The All-American Rejects - Why Worry
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so it's 10.40 pm on a thursday night, about 24 hours until one of my best friends leave for college. what the hell am i doing home? it's because, for the first time that i can remember, i am having an allergic reaction to something. the weird part: i'm not allergic to things. i haven't been exposed to anything new and this has never happened :( it was great. i was in the pool with keith and colin and talking to natalie and nick. i look down at my arm for some reason and see all these spots on my arm. my first thought was "i didn't know i had that many moles on my arm". then when i realized they weren't moles i looked on my other arm and they were everywhere. i got out of the pool and tried to remain calm. i went inside to ask smart people (melissa) if she knew what it was, and she didn't have any idea. so i went and showered in colin's shower to see if that made things better. it didn't. so agaisnt my own will i went home to ask my mom. i took another shower and discovered the bumps were all over my back and on my chest and legs also. so my mommy put calamine lotion on everyone of the bumps and i'm sitting here looking like a dalmation. wew :/ the only thing i can think of that caused this was the quesadilla i had for lunch. a quesadilla did this? it's hard to fathom, but it is the only new thing i have been exposed to today. i've been all over colin's house today and nothing like this has happened. i haven't drinken or eaten anything weird. blurg. i just have to be btter by tomorrow, i am going to the lake no matter what.
well that was a great end to an ok day. i hope you all got my sarcasim. i woke up today early and went shopping for college stuff with colin. then keith came over and we proceeded to natalies house and helped her finish packing. i almost cried today about people leaving, but it hasn't quite hit me that i will no longer be able to see these people on a normal basis. and that should be weird because i have basically lived with colin, natalie, nick and keith for the past couple of weeks. after finishing there, we went to wood'ys and had a very light lunch. then more pointless stuff happened and i eventually ended up asleep in colin's bed for about 3 hours. yummy, i love sleep. woke up, played ddr, decided that i suck at ddr, then sat around. natalie said that maybe my bumps were stress related. maybe, i guess, but i have been mores stressed before. why are you stressed alyson? it's not quite stress, but more of a worrysome type thing. i know that i shouldn't care, but i feel so stupid around him. he isn't making me feel stupid, but his grades, and scores, and tests, and schools make me feel inferior. i had been so proud of my intelligence but now i just feel average. math and science are my strong points, but i can't even touch him. and he's always right. wait... not always, i was right once. wew :/ he can't help it he's extremely gifted and talented. it's not his fault he's great at everything that he does. i guess it's my fault i'm not great. it was my choice to slack off, it was my choice to quit everything i started, it was my choice to only apply to one crappy school i knew i would get into. he keeps telling me i'm beautiful, but beauty isn't everything, it's not even half. someone worthy of him has to be smart and funny and all those good things i am not. i'm not smart, not anymore. i'm not funny most of the time. i'm not great. i'm a typical caller to love line. i get into bad relationships because i think i deserve them. look at my history, it ain't that great and i'm sure there is a reason. i know i won't be able to hold a candle to the girls at stanford. i'm bound to lose him. that's life for you
just so you all know, he treats me wonderfully, far better than i deserve. he doens't make me feel stupid, it's just me thinking. kind of ironik don't you think, my thinking makes me feel stupid.
just now, everyone that was at colin's came to make me feel better. it's amazing how he makes me feel. even seeing him makes me happy; he makes everything better. my spazzy could be injured (god forbid) and somehow he would make me feel ok.
alyson
p.s. d2 owns my soul again *shakes fist*
p.p.s. me + panda = manda, and by manda i mean gay porn
I worry, I wonder all the time why worry
It's killing me, forget about it
I whisper, remember what she did
Don't miss her
Set me free, she won't allow it
Angry and gone, and the list goes on and on
If it's love, I will differ, I'm being lost being with her
I can't move on, I can't take it
She, she says we won't ma-a-ake it now
I can't move on, I can't take it
She, she says we won't ma-a-ake it now
Be-lieving, the things i did were wrong
I'm leaving
It fades a-way, forget about it
She's binding, can't do a thing alone
Rewinding
Times before, can't live without it
Angry and gone, and the list goes on and on
If it's love, I will differ, I'm being lost being with her
I can't move on, I can't take it
She, she says we won't ma-a-ake it now
I can't move on, I can't take it
She, she says we won't ma-a-ake it now
I don't know
But you did but you did but you did
Please don't go
Now my feelings for you they're now lost
'cause we're through anymore
I'll write you , I'll call you
Now
I can't move on, I can't take it
She, she says we won't ma-a-ake it now
I can't move on, I can't take it
She, she says we won't ma-a-ake it now |
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| 01:04am 13/08/2003 |
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too tired to retell events. but right now i am perfectally happy: a spaz on my lap, a boy in my heart, and pirates in my ear. all i need is some rum and really bad eggs. til i get more sleep, this is uh-oh over
rgr |
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| i don't mind spending everyday out on your corner in the pouring rain |
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| 11:54am 12/08/2003 |
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music: Maroon 5 - She Will Be Loved
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wew.
that's all i got to say for the past couple of days. there was a little bump two days ago, but we just rolled over it.
i was very upset yesterday. someone who i once considered a friend has hurt a friend of mine more than she may ever know. atleast have the decentcy to tell him, don't let him find out for himself. i am not cool with people i care about hurting like this. i wasn't mad at you and i didn't hate you before, but now..... there are no words.
he gets so much crap he doesn't deserve. i wish i could make things better for him. if nice guys finish last, he hasn't even made it to the race yet.
for whatever reason, yesterday i became very self-conscience. i didn't want to get out of my jeans to go swimming. i'm not sure why it happend, but all of a sudden i couldn't bare the site of me. blurg
alyson |
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| 11:48am 11/08/2003 |
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i could have told you that |
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| 11:48am 11/08/2003 |
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one of the things that i love most about him is that he notices when things are different and doesn't believe the bs excuses i give. he said something last night about me acting "different than usual". and i totally know what he is talking about. i have yet to find a way to describe how i feel right now. my mind feels detached from my body, not that i don't have contorl over my body, just the space between my mind and my body is getting larger. the time it takes for me to comprehend things seems to be getting longer. i guess all the gaming i have done has finally taken affect, i feel like i'm in a fps and i'm mearly looking and observing. it feels like i'm in a dream and that i have control, but not a whole lot of control. i think there is something wrong with my eyes. they don't concentrate and neither do i.
i will be gone in less than 2 weeks and i now fear the seperation. to quote a wise man "fuck you college"
alyson |
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| 01:22am 10/08/2003 |
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mood: whatever mood makes you cry music: Magic Dance Xplosion - Volume 8 (D I G I T A L L Y - I M P O R T E D - EuroDance & HiNRG - Finest imported cheese on the net!)
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words can not express how i feel right now. i'm angry because it happend, i'm sad because i lost everything, i feel stupid that i care this much about a fucking stupid computer game.
some of you may not get this, but some guy when hostile against me while i was trying to get my body, my inventory fills up because my belt dropped, and that means all the stuff i was wearing dropped. he took. he took it all. my nat's helm, my bartoc's claws, my other 2 claws that i was wearing as my alternate, my nat's boots, my gloves, my belt, my ammy, my wring, and my raven spiral ring. all of it gone. it's all fucking gone. and i can't get it back. thery were all uniques, including my ammy and rings. and then the set pieces i had to trade to get. it's all gone and i can't get it back. i'm not going to relax and i'm going to worry about it. if this had happened to you, you would be very upset. getting all of that stuff was hard work. and it's all gone now. i'm so angry right now, if i were to meet the guy irl, i would kick the shit out of him til he begged for mercy. and i probaly wouldn't stop. i'm not just angry because some ass took my stuff. i'm angry because some ass ruined my me good streak. i had been having the best time so far and this happens and it all goes down the drain.
if anyof you want a free d2 account with lvl 82 asn, and 5 mules completely full, leave a message. i'll probably be taking my d2 cd out for the last time and snapping it in half. |
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| 12:23am 10/08/2003 |
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The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Level 7
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Guarded by the Minotaur, who snarls in fury, and encircled within the river Phlegethon, filled with boiling blood, is the Seventh Level of Hell. The violent, the assasins, the tyrants, and the war-mongers lament their pitiless mischiefs in the river, while centaurs armed with bows and arrows shoot those who try to escape their punishment. The stench here is overpowering. This level is also home to the wood of the suicides- stunted and gnarled trees with twisting branches and poisoned fruit. At the time of final judgement, their bodies will hang from their branches. In those branches the Harpies, foul birdlike creatures with human faces, make their nests. Beyond the wood is scorching sand where those who committed violence against God and nature are showered with flakes of fire that rain down against their naked bodies. Blasphemers and sodomites writhe in pain, their tongues more loosed to lamentation, and out of their eyes gushes forth their woe. Usurers, who followed neither nature nor art, also share company in the Seventh Level.
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Take the Dante's Inferno Test
who'da thunk it? |
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| 12:36am 07/08/2003 |
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music: Atmosphere - The Woman WitThe Tattoed Hands
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wew, another adventure filled day is over and i am a happy camper.
woke up to the phone ringing at 7:30ish in the morning. literally rolled out of bed and picked up my mom from the dodge dealership. then she got me gas :) there are times where she isn't annoying, and it's not because she bought me a full tank of gas. then i came home and sat on my ass waiting for other people to wake up. about 5 hours later, everyone wakes up and i go to lunch with colin and keith (surprise surprise). we went to jake's tex mex, a place i can not remember ever being to. it wasn't bad at all. a lot smaller than i thought, but good food non the less. and the chocolate cake is to die for. over lunch we talked about how i have been gaining weight since i have been hanging out with them and how colin has lost weight. and we decided it's because he gives his chocolate cake dangit. dang them and their eating on a regular basis. dang them to heck.
then when we are done, we stop by matt's place to get "army of darkness", which is by far one of the corniest movies i have ever seen, i have seen a lot of movies. then matt and nick came over and we watched da godfajja. the second time around it is even more sad about connie and sonie. i bordered on tears during that 15-20 minutes.
ok, in the lat 15 minutes of me writing this, about 5 people have im'd me with their problems. i have a heart broken guy that doesn't understand girls, a suicidal person, a person who is im'ing me about the suicidal person, and colin being right all along. i hate when he's right. don't worry he says, and i'm not going to because he is right. i shouldn't worry. none of this is my problem. it sounds like i don't care, i do, but this isn't my war anymore. "If you really did want to end your life, You'd be gone by now" - rufio. ok i'm done. fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, i'm out of here
alyson |
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| 09:48am 06/08/2003 |
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Fri, 08/15/03
6:30 pm Ben Harper and Jack Johnson Greek Theatre-U.C. Berkeley
Berkeley, CA
Sat, 08/16/03
6:30 pm Ben Harper and Jack Johnson Greek Theatre-U.C. Berkeley
Berkeley, CA
Sun, 08/17/03
2:30 pm Ben Harper and Jack Johnson Greek Theatre-U.C. Berkeley
Berkeley, CA
Tue, 08/19/03
12:30 pm Jane's Addiction*Audioslave*Incubus*a Perfect Circle* Shoreline Amphitheatre
Mountain View, CA
Tue, 09/02/03
7:00 pm Finch Fillmore
San Francisco, CA
Sat, 10/18/03
8:00 pm 2003 Exotic Erotic Ball Cow Palace
San Francisco, CA
[ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<font [...] "15">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <html>Fri, 08/15/03
6:30 pm Ben Harper and Jack Johnson Greek Theatre-U.C. Berkeley
Berkeley, CA
Sat, 08/16/03
6:30 pm Ben Harper and Jack Johnson Greek Theatre-U.C. Berkeley
Berkeley, CA
Sun, 08/17/03
2:30 pm Ben Harper and Jack Johnson Greek Theatre-U.C. Berkeley
Berkeley, CA
Tue, 08/19/03
12:30 pm Jane's Addiction*Audioslave*Incubus*a Perfect Circle* Shoreline Amphitheatre
Mountain View, CA
Tue, 09/02/03
7:00 pm Finch Fillmore
San Francisco, CA
Sat, 10/18/03
8:00 pm 2003 Exotic Erotic Ball Cow Palace
San Francisco, CA
<b><font size "15">09.26.2003 San Francisco, California SF Concourse Exhibition Center - Dashboard Confessionals, Vendetta Red, Mxpx, Brand New</b></font>
i wouldn't mind going to that last one. nope, wouldn't mind at all. |
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| sex, sex, sex, don't forget the violence |
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| 02:19pm 05/08/2003 |
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music: Marylin Manson - This Is The New Shit
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i'm sure most of you do not like marilyn manson, but i think that each and everyone of you should go dl this song. it doesn't have any anti-jesus/god/religion slash whatever. it's a statement about society and music and how it's all babble babble bitch bitch
alyson
Everything's been said before
There's nothing left to say anymore
When it's all the same
You can ask for it by name
Babble, Babble, Bitch, Bitch
Rebel, Rebel, Party, Party
Sex, sex, sex, don't forget the violence
Blah, blah, blah
Got your lovey-dovey sad and lonely
Stick your stupid slogan in
Everybody sing along
Babble, Babble, Bitch, Bitch
Rebel, Rebel, Party, Party
Sex, sex, sex, don't forget the violence
Blah, blah, blah
Got your lovey-dovey sad and lonely
Stick your stupid slogan in
Everybody sing along
Are you motherfuckers ready for the new shit?
Stand up and admit it, tomorrow's never coming
This is the new shit
Stand up and admit it
Do we need it? NO!
Do we want it? YEAH!
This is the new shit
Stand up and admit it
Babble, Babble, Bitch, Bitch
Rebel, Rebel, Party, Party
Sex, sex, sex, don't forget the violence
Blah, blah, blah
Got your lovey-dovey sad and lonely
Stick your stupid slogan in
Everybody sing along
Everything's been said before
There's nothing left to say anymore
When it's all the same
You can ask for it by name
Are you motherfuckers ready for the new shit?
Stand up and admit it, tomorrow's never coming
This is the new shit
Stand up and admit it
Do we need it? NO!
Do we want it? YEAH!
This is the new shit
Stand up and admit it
Now it's you-know-who
I've got the you-know-what
I stick it in the you-know-where
You know why, you don't care
Now it's you-know-who
I've got the you-know-what
I stick it in the you-know-where
You know why, you don't care
Now it's you-know-who
I've got the you-know-what
I stick it in the you-know-where
You know why, you don't care
Now it's you-know-who
I've got the you-know-what
I stick it in the you-know-where
You know why, you don't care
Babble, Babble, Bitch, Bitch
Rebel, Rebel, Party, Party
Sex, sex, sex, don't forget the violence
Blah, blah, blah
Got your lovey-dovey sad and lonely
Stick your stupid slogan in
Everybody sing along
Are you motherfuckers ready for the new shit?
Stand up and admit it, tomorrow's never coming
This is the new shit
Stand up and admit it
Do we need it? NO!
Do we want it? YEAH!
This is the new shit
Stand up and admit it
Let us
We're entertaining you |
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| 02:15am 05/08/2003 |
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mood: sleepy music: NOFX - Please Play This Song On The Radio
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he is right when he says that everything will be ok. and i hate him for that :P i woke up this monring, sauntered out to my computer as usual, and proceeded to get two phone calls and 4 people come by in my first hour of being aware of the outside world, something less usual. elliott called, then came by, then my soon-to-be roomate called, then nick, keith and colin came by with fries because we couldn't go to fry's :D i love them so much, somehow they are able to make the best of bad times. even though it was roasting in my house and someone other than myself and the 3 boys were sitting in on my conversation, they cheered me up. and with the same grace and charm that won me over, they convinced the above forementioned to allow me to go to fry's with them. and colin being rigth as usual, fry's was unbelievable. they had everythig from pepper spray, to tool boxes, to computer stuff, and even porn. and they had food so you could live there. then we went to colin's and got in the newly cleaned spa, then to nick's for about 15 minutes.
i don't know how he does it, but something about his goofy grin gives me a goofy grin and brightens my entire day. and now that i have a pic next to my computer, it doesn't make it hard to imagine he grinning at me, and me radiating back at him. he is so unlike any other guy i have even be interested in and that is why i think it is so perfect. but... *dun dun dun* he let me open my own door 3 times today. i think i'm starting to wear him down XD wew. that makes a few doors, lunch, and a few other small things, i might win this war. it's like risk, you win some you lose some, but as long as you wear him down, it's all good.
i just made a connection between my love life and risk, some one shoot me
alyson |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| And I don't want to fall into the light. |
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| 07:35pm 03/08/2003 |
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mood:  gloomy music: AFI - Morning Star
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it was too good to last. alyson happy? cheerful? optimistic? i should have known it was stupid when it happened. i'm not meant to be those things. i had been on cloud nine and completely forgotten about the real world and all the shit that happens here. the shit hit the fan and i ruined everyone's plans for tomorrow. gg me. and don't tell me i didn't ruin them. you were all so happy about going and keith even got the hummer. this was going to be a great day until alyson goes and ruins things.
so now i've sat around all day today and probably will yet again. and the day after that and the day after that and so on and so forth. natalie will be upset when she gets back. she told me that people like me now because i'm happy and caring and whatever else she said, and now i'm back to my normal self. that happiness was just a fluke. |
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Read 6 - Post |
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alyshin's journal
